Whose body is it, anyway?

"The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:4)

Do you struggle with sexual impurity or immorality? Have you subscribed to the world's view of sex and intimacy, only to experience a sense of destruction, violation, and regret? Do you struggle to do what God's word says to do regarding your body, but still falter and fail on occasion?

I have good news for you. First and foremost, God has already given us victory over the world, and what it takes to receive that victory is an intimate relationship with Him. When we not only know His word in our head but stand on it in our hearts, no weapon formed against us will prosper. If honor, selflessness, and service motivate you, there's also another technique that I employ to keep myself on the straight path. Whenever I consider looking at something illicit, doing something shameful, or even doing something sinful with another person, I remember a pact I made with God. One day when I was in the shower (you men know how much of a temptation this position can be), I told Him, "Father, my body does not belong to me, but to my wife (or future wife). I will do nothing with it that she would not herself desire me to do with it. Likewise, I trust you to keep my heart pure and remind me when I remain faithful to You that I will never regret this choice, and will be rewarded when I am with my wife."

It worked. Every time I have the opportunity to look at pornography, to masturbate, or even to peruse the pictures and clips in my mind that have been planted there by prior sinful choices, I remember the covenant I made with God. "But, Zero," you say, "What if my spouse desires to do things that I just know aren't right in God's eyes?" I've been there. My wife and I actively considered a lot of destructive things in our intimate life, and we used to watch pornography together, too. If you're yoked with an unbelieving spouse, you can simply stand on God's word yourself, or if they're also a believer, you can share this scripture with them:

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." (Ephesians 5:3, emphasis mine)

What is sexual immorality? Pornography is a good example. Homosexuality, bisexuality, multiple sex partners, and swinging are all very obviously destructive to a marriage, though they can be insidiously tempting. Obviously, anything sexual or dishonorable involving a person that you aren't married to is also an impurity (for those of you who are single and dating, even if you know that this is "the one" you are going to marry, keep your hands and your lips to yourself! You won't regret it, and you will if you don't). Anything that perverts the marriage bed - sex toys, bondage gear, and worse. Some would argue that sodomy - oral and anal sex - is biblically unsound. I can't comment on that one, but I will say this: the male penis fits the female vagina perfectly because that was how God designed intercourse to be. If you believe that anal sex or oral sex or both are wrong, then stay away from them - and the same goes if that is what your spouse believes. I have personal beliefs on the subject, but those are between a man, his wife, and God.

Finally, you might ask, "Zero, what if I'm not married? I know I should wait for my wife/husband and remain pure, but how can I operate that same way, especially when I don't know if my future wife/husband is remaining pure for me?" The truth is this: you will never regret remaining pure for your future spouse. If you are single, God has a person out there designed precisely to match you - all you need to do is let God prepare you for him/her. If you're separated, remain pure for your spouse's sake, and pray for God's will to be done in your marriage. If you're divorced, have faith - you didn't miss the boat! God has the perfect person for you and He will bring him or her to you when He says you're ready! Remain faithful to Him and to your future spouse, and remember that God is preparing him/her for you, and no matter what he or she has been through in their life, you will have no regrets about them, or about your choice to remain pure.

Praise God for his grace and mercy, because without it we would be lost to the sin of the world.